Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/
Reblogged from postulation  165,853 notes

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

Reblogged from postulation  106,286 notes

studip:

my favorite part of concerts is when the band plays a song everyone knows so everyone’s singing along all out of tune but then the singer stops singing and they point the mic at the crowd and u just hear everyone in the crowd singing the words to the music and u see the smiles on the band members’ faces bc they know people care about their music and everyone’s just so happy who cares about anything else

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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lady-wylfsbane:

themorbidmaiden:

whenever i see tripp pants i remember when i was in my senior year of high school. there was this sophmore girl who would sit the table me and some of my friends sat at during lunch period. she dated a guy who graduated before us but we knew him because he wore these pants almost every day.
one day she came to the table very upset, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said she broke up with her boyfriend because he lied all the time. he had been telling lies throughout their entire relationship. you wanna know what the lies were? he lied to her saying he was adopted, and he was a half-vampire demigod. she was crying
she was crying because her boyfriend lied to her about being an adopted half-vampire demigod
she believed

When I was in high school the guy I’m dating and living with now was a few years older than my friends and I and he had was a goth kid too but he’s very intelligent and charismatic and loved to mess with the crazy goth kids so he has them all believing he was a 3000 year old vampire lord who knew Jesus and he had a bet with him and now Jesus owes him 2 goats which is now like $500 and Jesus started Christianity and died to get out of the deal so he was waiting for the second coming to get his money from Jesus which is only going to increase with inflation and interest and all these 14-15 year olds actually believed him and that he had the powers and shit so he used it to start a ‘cult following’ and these kids would bring him food and buy him gifts and even when he told them to stop they wouldn’t leave him alone and it’s amazing what high school kids believe

lady-wylfsbane:

themorbidmaiden:

whenever i see tripp pants i remember when i was in my senior year of high school. there was this sophmore girl who would sit the table me and some of my friends sat at during lunch period. she dated a guy who graduated before us but we knew him because he wore these pants almost every day.

one day she came to the table very upset, and when we asked her what was wrong, she said she broke up with her boyfriend because he lied all the time. he had been telling lies throughout their entire relationship. you wanna know what the lies were? he lied to her saying he was adopted, and he was a half-vampire demigod. she was crying

she was crying because her boyfriend lied to her about being an adopted half-vampire demigod

she believed

When I was in high school the guy I’m dating and living with now was a few years older than my friends and I and he had was a goth kid too but he’s very intelligent and charismatic and loved to mess with the crazy goth kids so he has them all believing he was a 3000 year old vampire lord who knew Jesus and he had a bet with him and now Jesus owes him 2 goats which is now like $500 and Jesus started Christianity and died to get out of the deal so he was waiting for the second coming to get his money from Jesus which is only going to increase with inflation and interest and all these 14-15 year olds actually believed him and that he had the powers and shit so he used it to start a ‘cult following’ and these kids would bring him food and buy him gifts and even when he told them to stop they wouldn’t leave him alone and it’s amazing what high school kids believe